


Think We Should Take The Long Way Home

by rendezv0us



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Mutual Pining, Yveseul, another fic another struggle to tag, heelip if you squint cuz im trash, i cant write bad endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 18:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20586878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendezv0us/pseuds/rendezv0us
Summary: Yves makes her way to realize that home is not a place, but someone.





	Think We Should Take The Long Way Home

**Author's Note:**

> It's good to finally finish something, I hope it's worth the reading.

“I build a fire in the snow

Warm our bodies from the cold

And you said

If we never try

We’ll never know

You have to sow the seed

And watch it grow.”

Yves heard about her, all good things as if she wasn’t even human. A girl that was like an angel, a mother to all, everyone mentioning about how she’d be there any time they needed before she left. Now she’s back, and Yves is bored to say the least. She hates glorification, _no one is fucking perfect_, but she has to second guess herself the moment the girl smiles and her eyes fully close like half-moons.

No one is perfect, Haseul also knows that, so she plays with her tongue inside her cheeks. She heard a lot about Yves, a shy girl that’s usually by the corner reading a book and avoiding any social interaction. Not one to move around much or talk about herself at all. _Oh_, but she has the perfect body (she watched in a dance practice Jiwoo has taken her to) and the perfect face for sure _–bunny teeth and all_. She’d like to know what’s dirty in there, to rip her perfection apart if it meant she’d have some fun.

It was awkward at first, when they’ve sat together among their common group of friends.

Haseul talks a lot, their friends had some years to catch up since they last seen each other, and Yves listens. She heard about the football captain Haseul dated, and how she hated dicks now, and all the fun she had spending her weekends at parties getting wasted, and how she failed most of her grades, and her parents called her back. That’s probably all she caught by then, because she was too immersed thinking about her crush on her friend Jiwoo, to mind about Haseul that much.

She found it oddly interesting how a few months later Haseul took over her mind, and her crush on Jiwoo was long gone to maybe never come back. Yves also found interesting the universe and its amazing ways to fuck things up, because it didn’t take too long for Haseul and Jiwoo to announce they were dating. Not that it was quite a surprise for her, Jiwoo wasn’t one to be subtle and was one of her best friends after all.

Yves watched them like a loser, their relationship lasted for two and a half years.

(…)

Yves was sure it would fade away, her feelings. But they were still there when Haseul and Jiwoo broke up, and at that time she was a little closer to the girl.

Still, she was nineteen and afraid to talk about her feelings.

She avoided then, if anything would happen between them it should be natural.

If Haseul liked her, she’d let her know.

(…)

Friends that acted like lovers, she started to hate that.

They were everywhere together, it was easier as they were in the same college, but Yves wasn’t more than Haseul’s buddy. She’d reveal all her secrets and dish about her teachers, or how Yves’s roommate was starting to become one with her bed. Then she’d start ranting about her crushes, how things were never right with Jiwoo because they were more friends than lovers, and how she’d like to open some business any day, and why wouldn’t they just forget their assignments and go to this new club downtown?

Yves become one with the night, it was easier to forget about her feelings if she could drink them away. She could quite count the times she wasn’t able to do that but was somehow saved by an over-excited Jiwoo grabbing her in a chokehold to dance. Heejin managed to save her a few times too, because Yves made her own personal mission to keep the girl in check. She wasn’t a drinker, but her clumsy ways got her involved in more fights than Yves would like to remember, it’s for everyone’s safety that the girl wouldn’t be in parties for long.

It was also her best shot to avoid seeing with who Haseul would end up going out for the night.

She made a name for herself, if drinking wouldn’t work then Yves could find some comfort in someone’s else arms. Haseul and her wouldn’t ever happen, she was sure at this point. She was the one Haseul would meet in the mornings to tell everything about the girl she slept with, not the lucky one to wake up by her side. Never that. But she hoped, maybe if Haseul was bored enough they could hook up being drunk and call it a night.

Wouldn’t go further than that, but it was better than nothing.

Until, Haseul blurted out that Yves’s roommate was kind of pretty doing squats around the living room. Nice abs that made up for the fried blonde scalp, and the tendency of never leaving her bed. Yves took a deep breath and gave a thumbs up to her direction, _hell _she helped Haseul getting closer to Jinsoul. Maybe that was love, putting the other’s happiness in the first place, or just her being dumb and still afraid of saying her feelings.

When they started to date, Yves thought that senior year was easy compared to being in love with Haseul.

Altogether, she came to the realization that maybe nothing was better than failure.

She bought a big loft in the city, her family helped, and worked at her cousin’s law office to get herself some distance. She also tried to date seriously, _it didn’t last a week_, and got a few messed up hook ups here and there out of boredom. Maybe she liked someone in between, or a few, but no one like Haseul.

(…)

Friends that acted like lovers, they went back to that.

Yves couldn’t keep herself away, and Haseul was ever so welcoming even if they didn’t talk for months. And, somehow, she knew it, could feel it, Haseul and Jinsoul were too much like Haseul and Jiwoo to have a different ending.

She was bolder by then, never leaving Haseul’s side again. They started going to parties together too, and Yves didn’t know how they didn’t hook up in one of those this time around. Haseul wouldn’t leave with someone else, in fact, she’d call it a night and ask for a ride pretty early in the night. They would go to Yves’s loft only stopping to grab some food in the way, if Yves wasn’t feeling like cooking.

Haseul liked when she cooked at 1a.m. just for her, though, so it became a habit.

Haseul talked more about her dreams, than lovers. Soon, she made plans and Yves was there when Haseul decided to open a restaurant with Jiwoo. In Haseul’s words, if Jiwoo’s grilled meat was the only food to top any of Yves’s doings, it had to mean it was something worth taking a risk for. In her own words as well, Yves’s food was the best she ever had outside her mom’s doing. Yves was too distracted by how prettily the girl’s lips moved, to ever acknowledge the compliment, but she was twenty-four and still afraid to tell her feelings.

(…)

All those years of pining brought them to this.

Haseul sees two girls entering the restaurant and by her side view she can already tell who they are, she can’t help the smile growing from the side of her mouth. Jiwoo takes her attention off the dishes for a second, just to see what comes to interrupt the argument they were having (nothing heated, they didn’t fight even when they broke up), and her smile grows wider than Haseul’s. Jiwoo was never someone to hide anything, _this gets her in trouble all the time_, so she aims a knowing look to the older direction.

“Oh, look at that, if those aren’t your favorites costumers coming around.” She said, Haseul threw a dishrag to her back the second after.

“They are _not_ my favorites, they’re our friends.” Haseul tried out, trying to hide a blush seeing the girls settling at their table. Yves spotted her first and waved at her direction, Haseul tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before waving back.

“Yes, friends we want to sleep with in your case.”

“No point in denying that, _but _if only I knew it was this hard to approach her… Also, she’s been avoiding something I’ve asked her and today is just a good day to ask about it.”

“Why don’t you just go get their orders?” Jiwoo asked, as she started to look over for what meat she’d have to cook. She was already used to their orders, though Haseul wouldn’t stop going to see if there’s any changing anyway.

“That too…”

Haseul left giving a little press to the younger shoulders, and a kiss to her cheek. She was definitely excited about the prospect of facing Yves and reminding her of what Haseul, at this point, was sure that she was pretending to forget. They’ve been close friends for years, however never this close as now, neither did Haseul ever looked at Yves with other eyes until a couple of months ago, when she got out of a long relationship. Another long relationship, actually, because before that there was Jiwoo and they’ve dated for around two years. That’s almost the same time she and Jinsoul lasted, and with both breaking up was the easiest thing to ever happen between them.

To this day Haseul wasn’t sure what to take about those relationships, the only thing she knew is that it didn’t work out and maybe even trying to make it work was a mistake since the beginning.

She loves Jinsoul and Jiwoo, undoubtedly, they’re the kindest girls she ever met. But when she looks at Yves, after all those years, and she can’t tell a thing of what’s possibly running inside her mind, she finds out that this is a feeling she likes. Not that she didn’t know that Yves has a liking for her, she wouldn’t be hanging out with Haseul at any due time if she hasn’t, but Haseul doesn’t know what lies there for sure.

Or why, if Yves likes her, she has yet to make a move.

For the sake of her sanity, she tosses all those thoughts away when she arrives at her friends table.

“Hello girls, I’m going to be your waitress. Today we’re serving looks.” Haseul’s smile is bright, she says looking at Yves expecting her always endearing responses, and she pulls her hoodie down a little to expose her shoulders as she gives half a turn and breaks into laugh.

Heejin snorts, bouncing her head in denial as she goes back to look and furiously type on her phone.

“Let me see…” Yves says nonchalantly, and _god _doesn’t Haseul love how she can keep a straight face as she plays with the menu in her hand. “Sorry, but I can’t seem to find your name in here?” Heejin almost chokes at this point, even though they believed she was too distracted on her own to pay attention to them, and Haseul just become a bigger red mess as she slaps Yves’s shoulder.

“Here…” Haseul points, getting herself together because she figured they could mess around a little more. “… just after the grilled cheese, it will be 23000 won miss.”

Yves was ready to reply something of the likes _“I’d have that every day…”_ but bit her tongue before she could get herself to do it. She was used to that already, stopping herself from trespassing their friendly flirtations in order to keep her feelings safe and (_in her mind_) well hidden. She wasn’t that good of a liar as she liked to believe, though, Haseul could see behind the knowing look they shared.

“I’ll save myself from hearing any awful remark Soo can think of, and just say that we’re getting the usual _please_.”

Haseul lowers her head and starts typing the order in her phone app, thanks to Hyejoo that came with the technology improvement idea, even though it wasn’t needed. Both she and Jiwoo knew by memory that they would be ordering the usual Jiwoo’s special grilled meat with extra barbecue. Before, Yves would accept Haseul’s take and try out a few different plates, but she (as many other costumers) fell in love for her grilled meat of all things.

“For three?” Yves asks, looking towards Heejin with a raised eyebrow.

“No, I’m not even sure she’ll come to be honest.”

“Being ditched by your date?” Haseul asks finishing the order with the drinks they mumbled over her, her look to Yves filled with curiosity, but she couldn’t keep the stare for long.

“You think someone would lose the chance of getting this?” She pointed at herself, she scoffs because the girl she was looking at would be one of those _few_ that would indeed lose a chance with her.

Haseul lost so many chances already, if she were to tell the truth. Yves thinks she’s oblivious like a door, barely 3d dimensioned. By her part, Haseul likes to play innocent to see where is the point that she’ll break. So far, Yves seems to have the same resistance as an elephant in a small room. Much of the likes of the one sitting at Haseul’s mind, growing an inch each day or so, she named it _my ridiculous feelings for my best friend –the girl that sleeps with anyone, but me_.

“Thanks, Yves, I feel like shit.” Heejin broke the “silence” of her troubled mind.

“In my defense, I’ve told you to cut her off already.”

“Easier said than done, you know that.”

“Give me your phone and I’ll show you how easy it is.” She tries to reach it, but Heejin shoves her away with her free hand. “Come on, this girl is playing around with you and you’re just going to let her? As far as we know, she could be ditching you for someone else. What if she’s married and has two kids, and is only meeting you when her wife is out of town or something?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Heejin gave her an annoyed, yet _very _worried, look.

“We never know, happened to me once.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Her name is Sunmi, I’m still terrible in love with her.”

“You’re terrible in love with the girl that keeps eyeing you from the kitchen.”

Yves couldn’t hold herself from looking at the kitchen’s direction, catching Haseul on the spot, the girl waved at them before shooting that dangerous smile of hers to Yves and going back to help Jiwoo preparing their meals.

“That one _too_, but if Sunmi called me up today saying that she’s divorced I’d leave my life behind to find my happiness.”

“Shut up, you’ve been in love with Haseul for the past four years and you two never even kissed. Jungeun and I went on a few dates and it’s not like she’s avoiding me for sure, she just… _maybe_ cancelled the past two or three dates we were supposed to have, but I’m sure she has an explanation.”

“Did she even tried to explain it, though?”

Heejin shrugged and seemed even smaller than she already was.

“Maybe I should ask?”

“I’m telling you; no one can ditch on you without having a very reasonable explanation to do so. You can’t let she go on like this, without knowing the reason. You deserve that Heej.”

“Fine.” She sighed, Yves was right about this, it was past time for her to ask if Jungeun wouldn’t say anything for herself. Nothing other than _Sorry, I’m not sure I’m gonna make it today_, or_ We can figure another time, right?_ “I think she wouldn’t be talking with me until now, if she’s not interested… but maybe she’ll be honest if I ask what’s going on?”

“She must be, or I’ll break her neck in half. And press her, tell her if she doesn’t come today then it’s over.”

“B-but…”

“Do it, she needs some shock treatment to get her shit together.”

“When will you talk about your feelings to Haseul, though? The infamous Ha Yves, never acting up?”

“She pecked my lips in a truth or dare once and she still brags about being a real kiss, so… And she knows me, I’m pretty sure she knows my mad crush on her so if she wanted something, she would’ve let me know already. Which, just to be clear, but I guess you know by now, she didn’t.”

“Or maybe you’re too blind to notice? Is not like she isn’t flirting around with you all the time, right?”

“Why don’t you go ask her if she’d want to commit to the girl that probably slept with everyone downtown and you get your answer.”

It wasn’t easy for Yves to lose her temper, but maybe she was losing now. Heejin could tell by her trembling hands, eager to reach for a cigarette, and how she denied her anxious pleading to get her phone and scroll down for news on social media. She didn’t like the sight, an anxious Yves was at puppy’s sadness level and she couldn’t deal with that. A pity that she couldn’t do anything for her friend, she _would_ if only Yves let her do the talking with Haseul in her face. To at least know if she would be interested, which everyone kind of new she was (even Yves, when she realizes that denying the obvious is pointless), and probably be their maid of honor in a few months for now.

Heejin thinks, a second after, that Chaewon would probably take her place and her face falls. Yves see hers more like a son, than a possible daughter. She still has to learn why, because it surely wouldn’t be for being bisexual as Chaewon was pretty much one as well. She was dating Yves’s young sister, Son Hyejoo, though they weren’t up to admit it yet. They knew about the infinite teasing they’d get once they’re out in the open, because Yves always said that they would end up together. Hyejoo denied a couple of times that she would fall for this _way-too-perfect-to-be-true_ sort of girl, but they’ve been hiding their relationship for weeks now.

Thinking about them is pointless, but Heejin needed anything to distract herself from saying sorry to Jungeun after pushing her off as Yves asked her too. Also, she’s embarrassed for making Yves mad and at the verge of getting up to light a cigarette in the dark and cold street. She’s never been in love with someone for more than a year, she figures it always ends up making her bored, but _yet _Yves is pretty much like her and is in love with Haseul for years now. She shouldn’t think that only a “Hey, I like you” would resolve things between them. And, if she stopped to think about it all for a second longer, she’d also realize that they’re friends for years too.

Yves telling her feelings could ultimately set to an end the only thing she ever had with Haseul, their friendship. Maybe losing what they already had was too frightening for her friend to dare to make a move, and Heejin could understand that. Haseul wasn’t known as a _very_ reliable friend for nothing and Yves wasn’t one to rely on anyone, to the point that was this hard for Heejin to understand her feelings. She wondered if Haseul was able to, _ever_, be one to read Yves’s feelings easily. If not, she doubted that anyone would, at least she’d be the one to listen whenever Yves felt like talking.

“Did Jiwoo mixed salt with sugar again?” Haseul asked taking both of them out of their thoughts, getting a seat next to Yves. And they both frowned at her the same way too, and Haseul giggled thinking that they’re looking too much like siblings at this point. “I know you get asked this every weekend, but are you sure you’re not sisters? You frown just the same way it’s almost disgusting.”

“Shut up.” Yves said shoving Haseul’s hand, that was reaching for her thigh down the table, before taking a sip of the apple juice she ordered.

She couldn’t let herself some beverage, because she had to give a ride to that annoying, and _very_ small, beautiful girl.

“Anyway, change of topics really quick, are you staying over tonight?” Haseul asks, the brightest smile on her face, her hand descending a bit again to reach for the taller girl thigh. The touch, even being the lightest one, burns into her skin upon the fabric of her pants.

Yves sighs, she can’t say no to that face.

“I mean, it all depends if I’ll have to give Heejin a ride or if her date will ever appear you know…”

“Please, you always sleep over at Wednesdays. It’s kind of our thing already, Jiwoo is even wrapping some leftovers for you as we speak.” Haseul reacts, the hold on Yves’s leg becoming tighter.

“I haven’t forgotten you’re down to 2 a.m. snacks, pretty much like me.” Jiwoo says, taking a seat herself, putting the pack on top of the table. “And by that, I mean Haseul won’t let me forget it, you know how she’s loud and annoying when she wants.”

“Yep, been dealing with that by some time now.”

“You guys are like a married couple, only thing is that you don’t do the good stuff.”

Yves can tell it shows her embarrassment, when she chokes on her juice at that. But they go into a silence so dense, you could cut it with a knife.

“She’s- she’s… coming.” Heejin’s deep voice is the one to break it, when not even Jiwoo was thinking like intervene whatever was going on between the shy messes her friends had become.

Two useless lesbians, really.

“What?”

“My date, she’s coming. She said her mother has fallen ill these days, that’s why she hasn’t been able to hang-out.”

“Are you buying that?”

“I don’t know.”

Long story short, Heejin’s date turned out to be one of Jiwoo’s closest friends. Not a single one of them understanding how they didn’t notice that, even though Heejin wasn’t that close to Jiwoo to tell. Her sick mother story was confirmed then, she’s the only driver of the family when her dad is busy, so she had to take her mother in and out for exams on some days. Yves got a bit less skeptical about the girl, when she saw how eager she actually was to meet her younger friend. So much, that she ended up knocking herself fully on the closed glass doors of the restaurant. Her reason to avoid Haseul for the night was gone, though, which was very concerning due to the girl’s behavior for the night.

Haseul didn’t how hard it was for Yves to resist her constant flirting, even if she knows it was just the girl messing around with her.

“You know,” Haseul was leaning on her shoulder as she drives. “Jiwoo isn’t entirely wrong about what she said.”

“About what?”

“About us, a married couple without the fun stuff.”

“Don’t you not have fun with me?” Yves pretends to be shock, Haseul pinches her arm and envelops her hands around it even if it makes it harder for Yves to drive.

She’s used to it, by now.

“You know what I mean…”

“You’re totally asking me to teach you lap dance, so you can be sexier, as if you aren’t enough, I might add, and ask your crush out. What’s your point, really?”

It sounds bitter, because it is. Yves is tired of whatever games Haseul is playing, she isn’t sure how to keep this push and pulling. It bothers her, that was always so straightforward to everything in her life. She doesn’t know what keeps her from pulling the last string, _really_, and perhaps Heejin was right saying that she should.

But how, the embarrassing truth was that Haseul was again asking for help to deal with one of her crushes.

She was again her sidekick, her best friend to whatever weather.

The friendzone was pretty much swallowing her whole and dying seemed easier than speaking up her feelings to have it shoved right back on her face. How would she be able to talk with Haseul ever again, if she were to share her feelings only to be shut down?

Answer is: _She wouldn’t_.

She misses Haseul’s reply: “Sometimes it’s just like you ignore how important you are to me.”

Yves is used to Haseul’s small apartment, _a small place it’s easier to clean when you live alone_, she tells all the time, it’s warmth and it smells like her. It’s like they’re hugging, everything around is part of Haseul, the uncountable set of pictures of she and her friends on the shelves, the many books around everywhere. She isn’t sure how many Haseul is reading at once, she figures not even Haseul can tell. But she’d be able to give a very good summary about them all, if Yves was willing to listen, and she almost does to distract Haseul from the task she asked from her.

She is a second too late, though, because Haseul storms her way to the bathroom saying she’s showering quick to get the food smell out of her. Yves thinks to herself, _you’d still be looking like a whole snack_, and goes to see the notifications on her phone sitting on Haseul’s twin bed. A mischievous smile on her face. When she lays down on the bed, it’s when she realizes she feels more like Haseul than anyone else. She picks one of the pictures on her bed stand, of them, if only Haseul would like her back this way… they could be the perfect match, becoming each other as if soulmates ever existed.

Or it’d be just like Haseul and her previous relationships, when good friends couldn’t make it to good lovers.

“Hey, dry my hair?”

She must’ve lost count of the minutes, not registering the faint sound of the shower, Haseul singing one of her favorites – definitely one of Iu’s songs again – and how it stopped abruptly for once.

The girl asked sitting by her desk, dryer on hand, as if it was okay to just go out of the shower looking like the most beautiful woman to ever lay her feet on the ground.

God was a woman, after all, and she went by the name of Jo Haseul.

If only Yves could touch her, let her free hand descend a little past her shoulders, inside her shirt to feel her skin itching for her touch. To make it _b#rn_, every inch of that porcelain-like skin. She wanted nothing more than that, but kept herself to her task, free hand caressing the girl’s hair, at most sliding to her shoulder to a strong grip in order to avoid the impulse of going lower. The mirror on Haseul’s wardrobe was in front of them, as if registering the growing intention, the struggle of keeping their hands to their own selves.

For their own good, the dryer sound was so loud it kept their minds away from the thoughts lingering on their minds.

“I think that’s enough.” Haseul said, holding Yves’s wrist. She registered the shorter said something, not really sure of what, but turned off the machine anyway.

“Okay.” Yves’s reply is dry and automatic, just as much as she feels right now, time always seems to stop when she’s this close to Haseul.

She is so close to give up, every time they’re that dangerously alone and bodies _that_ close. Haseul notices the lip bite, how Yves it’s so on the edge, and she holds a smile. She doesn’t know if it’ll be just one more of those nights, Yves never taking them further, when she needed her to lead them on. Haseul feels so tired of the resistance, but she’s also so tired of everything else. Yves sits on her bed like she always does, brushes her long hair with her hands and fixes her eyes on the phone held by her free hand. Lays her back on the wall, probably texting one of those girls working by the new bakery around her loft. She doesn’t talk about them, but Haseul knows she got the prettier one number when they went there together.

Or, one of the girls she met at a night out. She knows Yves went out last week, the drunk texts gave her up.

Maybe Yves wouldn’t ever change, she would be partying and having a new girl at every weekend.

Haseul is worth a spot there, on Yves’s long list of love affairs.

That, she _knows_.

She takes the phone out of her hands, climbing over, and tosses to the other side of the bed. Of course, she gets a glimpse on the screen, Yves was just texting on their friend’s group chat. Her head falls to Yves’s lap, she’s usually excited whenever she feels the hand finding her hair and slowly caressing her, today it feels a bit heavier. They’re never this quiet around each other, but she can’t find her words that easily when her friend seems so far from reach.

She wonders about what might been passing through her mind, would she like to be somewhere else? Is Haseul so boring, that Yves wouldn’t even bother to ever try something with her?

“We could…” _Oh, she speaks_, Haseul can’t help but think. She didn’t notice Yves biting the nails of her free hand. “… watch Killing Eve new episodes and go to sleep? I’m a bit tired.”

Haseul sighs.

“You don’t have to dance, just-…” Haseul bites her lip, looking up. “Just guide me. And put some song for us, I don’t think I have a good one…”

“Yeah, your 70’s playlist is not going to work sweetie.”

Yves gives in, like she always does.

Not too long after the song starts, Haseul isn’t used to but recognizes the deep slow voice that sings.

“Selena Gomez, really?” She asks, Yves leaves the phone to the side and get herself sitting by the edge of the bed. A chair would work better, but she was too afraid to move.

“She’s not one of my faves, but it’s a good song, okay? And don’t worry, it’s a whole playlist. You still have time to back down though.”

“No, thanks.”

It’s mind-blowing, when Yves feels Haseul’s legs parting to her sides, hands on her shoulders, going down on her to the beat. She bites her lips and grabs the bedsheets thinking it might save her life, getting a hold into anything else that wasn’t Haseul to distract her mind. It doesn’t work out, her hands are finding the girl’s hips by the middle of the first song, Selena’s _you got a fetish for my love _intoxicating her senses.

Haseul knows her moves, she knows where to put pressure and how it gets to Yves when her hands leave her shoulders to grab on her nape. She plays with the long her, pulling her hair to a side to the other, lips coming closer and hot breath hitting her lobe enough to make her whole-body react. A second too late Yves realizes that Haseul’s lips are ghosting hers, tempting for a space closing move that she does because if they’re in a no coming back road, she might as well just enjoy the whole ride.

They’re midway _partition _when the making out becomes too much, and Haseul accepts so well the removing of her shirt, that Yves doesn’t care if her affection shows in every move, or if she’s pushing the girl too harsh on the bedframe.

She’s taking off her own shirt when Haseul asks _why did we took so long to do this?_

Yves doesn’t reply, not with words.

(…)

It downs to Yves that everything is about to change, once Haseul opens her eyes.

She takes all the morning light that comes through the curtains to admire her sleepy face up-close. That’s probably the last time she’ll be able to. Things will be awkward, and they’ll slowly drift apart, past this day. She knows the story, Haseul might have wanted her body for a night, but not any more than that. That’s Yves, the prolific local lesbian that anyone would like to find comfort on, _you could hardly think that anyone would turn her down_, but to think that someone would be bold enough to stay? 

Most doesn’t like to think that she has a personality apart from being good on bed, and a very dense one if she might tell.

Haseul is sleeping heavily, not noticing Yves’s troubled mind, breath low and steady on her chest, arms wrapped on her body as if they were meant to be. If Yves ever had a chance to escape before Haseul is awake, it’s completely gone. They’ll have to face each other like teenagers that can’t even blame on alcohol for being reckless, Yves hasn’t felt that small for years. She doesn’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that the memories of the night are so fresh in her mind, she almost laughs for being such a fool.

It’s strange, how she changed and rearranged herself so much through the years. Haseul met her old self, shy and hideous, never quite getting anyone’s attention even if she had the looks. To become a successful businesswoman of some sorts, that ate contracts for a living and it’s so well spoken she might make someone turn to shreds only using her words. Did Haseul liked past Yves better, or was this a better version to her eyes? She thinks she may be more desirable now, gets Haseul tong-tied faster, knows how to curl her fingers the way she likes.

She isn’t one to put her hopes up, but it’s hard to believe that this girl that has been keeping up with her for so many years might leave her in the morning.

_Damn_, she’s in Haseul’s bed, they’ve had each other up all night as if they were lovers.

She falls back to sleep.

When she wakes up again, Haseul is nowhere to be seen and her clothes are folded up by her chair desk.

She gets the message, so she puts on her clothes and gets an apple in the kitchen before she leaves. She can’t help but to make her way out slowly, she’ll miss every piece of Haseul that belongs to this tiny apartment, every piece of herself that won’t ever find the way out of there. How on the very first day, she helped Haseul to bring the boxes up from first floor, using the stairs because the elevator was out of order. She remembers her arms burning due to the pain, but also the smile on Haseul’s lips to finally have her place in the world.

It’s childish, she knows, how she can measure Haseul’s smiles by _I don’t find it funny but I’m such a sweetheart to let you know _to _this is the absolute best I can die here_ _and be glad. _There’s also a very special smile, that she often used to when Yves implied something sexual, that she named _I know what you mean and it’s so dirty, I love it._

She’s very proud of that one, actually, she’s very proud of anything that would relate to the both of them.

She grins looking at the living room, her leather jacket sprawled on Haseul’s couch, and takes another bite on the apple. She turns to leave for a couple of times, one of those she’s pressing so hard on the doorknob that it almost breaks, but she doesn’t have the soul to make it pass the threshold.

It’s funny.

All those years, and she’s still so weak.

Maybe if she waits for Haseul, she can get the pressure out of her chest, if she’s already such a fool… why wouldn’t she stay to put on a play? Haseul likes honesty, there was a reason she’d always choose truth on their games, the only time she didn’t lead to a peck on her lips. That ended up on Haseul splitting up with her fling or whatever, _maybe Vivi was too sensitive_, or expected too much of drunk Haseul, but it was such an innocent peck, _really, _Yves wasn’t even proud of that one.

If only it escalated from there, but it didn’t.

Haseul didn’t like her, period.

She left her own home to avoid looking into her eyes after a hook up, that meant something.

Yet, her feet wouldn’t dare to take another step.

Haseul enters in a hurry, one hand busy holding two cups of coffee, the other holding a bag of pretzels. She doesn’t smile like she could die there and be happy, but more like _thank god you’re still here_. Yves likes this one best. She’s so unbearably relieved, that she storms inside and tosses everything on top of the table. For a second, Yves thinks of all the times her friends told her that falling for Haseul was ultimately leading to a disaster. Of course, they mostly feared that she’d be the one to hurt the girl’s feelings, as if she’d ever be able to do such a treacherous thing.

They kiss and it’s enough to shut her mind, Haseul’s arms and body wrapping up around her like it’s meant to be.

Because, _maybe_, it is.

“I’m sorry I didn’t leave you a note, I’ve meant to, but there’s just too much you can think of at 8 a.m. running on two hours of sleep.”

“It’s okay.” Yves is reassuring, though her words tremble as she holds Haseul closer hiding her face on her neck. It’s hard and not very comfortable when she’s that much taller, bearable enough only because it’s Haseul. “Thought you wanted me gone, for a second, not gonna lie.”

“You’re so stupid sometimes, it’s gorgeous.” Haseul holds her face, pester her with kisses all over, Yves smiles like it’s the best day of her life. “You _belong_ in here.”

(…)

Friends that became lovers, Haseul wouldn’t believe that it could last after the past failed attempts.

Yves was twenty-five and brave enough to speak her feelings, _finally, _realizing that if that tiny apartment was Haseul’s place in the world and that, by her own words, Yves belonged in there…

…it might be safe to say Haseul liked her back.

**Author's Note:**

> tt: @heekkiwhy


End file.
